12 Relationship Mistakes You Should Avoid

People in relationships can avoid pushing each other to the extreme by avoiding certain mistakes. A quarrel here and there can act as a healthy outlet to express feelings. However, repeatedly throwing negative energies at each other will only cause accumulation of bitterness over time. Note the following 12 relationship mistakes and make a point to avoid them.

Communicating Thoughtlessly

Think before you speak. Thoughtless words that come out of your mouth have far reaching consequences. Some people, especially women, don’t react immediately. They tend to repress their reactions and bring them out at a later time. Thoughtless communication tends to hurt people. People, once they’re hurt, try to hurt you back and the cycle so it goes.

Being Insensitive To Your Partner’s Feelings

It’s important to be sensitive to your partner’s feelings. Don’t talk over your partner at parties, don’t ridicule in front of others and don’t be sarcastic. If you find that you are behaving this way, ask yourself why you’re doing it. Are you trying to put him or her down deliberately? Is it because you want the upper hand, and you don’t like being challenged? Is it because deep down, you feel insecure?

Expressing Your Thoughts Improperly

Sometimes our thoughts and feelings might be quite innocuous, but the way we express them might indicate repressed feelings. For example, be careful of your tone of voice. Do you sound sulky, angry, moody and dismissive when you speak to your partner? If you find your partner reacting strangely even when you’re communicating ordinary things, listen to your tone of voice.

Repressing Your Own Feelings

Some people tend to repress their feelings and put on a happy-go-lucky face just to keep the peace. Over time, they come to resent the other person for causing the need to repress their feelings. The truth is, people repress feelings because they’re insecure and because they’re scared of rocking the boat. It’s not because of the other person. Don’t turn around and blame your partner for your problems. Resolve internal issues on your own and seek professional help if required.

Not Settling Issues In A Timely Manner

Every time you quarrel, discuss your issues and decide to put paid to them at the end of the quarrel. Agree right then and there that there won’t be a carryover to the next fight. The next time you fight, take up brand new issues. By settling the issues as they arise and agreeing as a couple not to bring up old issues, you can avoid repeat blame, recurring fights and needless suffering.

Being Possessive Or Jealous

A little bit of possessiveness is good; it makes your partner feel a sense of belonging with you. However, neither a possessive attitude nor jealousy should be allowed to cross certain limits. Both these aspects spell doom in a relationship. It’s impossible to go through life without meeting other people. A possessive partner can see every innocent meeting as a rendezvous. This can seriously impact not only the relationship but also the emotional well being of both partners.

Being Unfaithful

Unfaithfulness, whether intended or not, can spell doom for a relationship. A relationship is based on trust; if and when this trust is violated, even if both partners decide to work it out, sometimes dies within the relationship. If you really care for your partner, resist the temptation to be unfaithful

Not Communicating Enough

In the absence of communication, any relationship will fade like cut flowers in a vase. People have to talk in order to express their thoughts to each other; not everyone is gifted with telepathy. Long silences, unspoken thoughts and a failure to communicate what’s important will slow down the relationship’s growth. Over time, such a relationship will not last.

Hurrying Things

It takes time to build something worthwhile. Rome wasn’t built in a day. There’s no rule that says that couples should get intimate after three dates. Take things slow and easy and build up the passion and the equation between you. Don’t hurry anything, be it physical intimacy, commitment, a marriage proposal and so on.

Believing Blindly

Don’t believe everything your partner tells you. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust your partner. It’s just that sometimes, people say a lot of things they don’t mean. They also say a lot of things that aren’t true. Use your own judgment to filter the truth. Watch out if your partner’s action matches their words and take your call.

Being Too Idealistic

It’s not a perfect world. Your partner cannot be the perfect airbrushed model you want him or her to be. Real human beings are not made to look perfect all the time. Accept this as the truth and stop living in a fantasy world. Accept yourself and your partner as you are. Also, life is not a Romeo and Juliet story. So don’t expect everything to be romantically perfect either.

Not Knowing About Your Partner’s Background

We meet people in single bars, at gas stations and a conversation starts. Many relationships begin this way. However, remember that we live in an age where morals and ethics have taken a back seat in many people’s lives. Do a basic due diligence into your partner’s background and validate that he or she is who they are. Don’t rely on your instant ‘chemistry’ to mean that you’re right for each other.

Marina Chernyak is a SAHM, freelance writer and writes about specialty products like cocktail table, vanity mirrors, interior furniture and lot more.